yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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