It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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