I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize