i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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