i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
