smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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