Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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