careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
