it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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