How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
