Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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