about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
