He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
