considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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