first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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