He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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