i don't like sucking hair
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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