You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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