We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Be still, my beating vagina.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
