i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
