Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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