I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm having to shit out rocks
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