He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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