oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
