Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
