Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
