I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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