1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
