i already hear my dad disowning me
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
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