only if we run a train.
done.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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