My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I licked your asshole in confidence.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
