he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I could fuck to npr.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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