he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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