the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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