Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
