I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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