i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
