Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My ass is underappreciated
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
