Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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