I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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