she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
