Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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