You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize