What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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