It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
