She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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