Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
