Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
