i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
