My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
