When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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