she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize