yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
