I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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