is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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