I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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